auld lang syne

Another new year is almost upon us. How did that happen?

2019 has been a mixed bag as are most years. I lost some long time friends and a new one. Not due to death, but just the fact that some friendships aren’t meant to last. No matter if I thought they would always be there. It takes two.

I became more immersed in my job and while I am still grateful for being employed with decent pay and benefits, there are some things I am finding difficult to understand. Not regarding my duties; regarding the corporate culture and my (in)ability to act accordingly. ‘Nuff said.

I am still - yes, still - studying French and have decided to add a continuation of my one semester of Swedish into the mix. Seriously, the best way to become fluent in any language is to move to that country. In about six months… viola! Fluency. But since that’s not happening anytime soon, I plod along at a snail's pace.

Beginning in the new year, I want to limit my social media time. I want to concentrate where I was most satisfied and happy. Facebook is horrible for photo sharing. The quality is terrible. Not to mention, it is way too easy for others to download your photos. Instagram is too “cool” for this non-influencer. So I will concentrate on my Flickr account and nurture the relationships I’ve made there over the years. I’ve met some really great humans. You are always welcome to visit me T H E R E.

I value the knowledge I’ve gained there and it’s a marvelous tool for cameras and film and cameraless photography and, for me, especially Polaroids. And it’s bucketloads of inspiration.

It’s not about having thousands of friends or likes or views. It’s about being authentic and honest and sincere in my work. And it’s about finding others that have the same ideas about photography and that maybe I can learn from. I want to be inspired to try a new technique or to try a new film; I don’t want to feel not as good as the so many mediocre people who post photos on IG. And I include some that use film. Not all hipsters that have embraced film post interesting stuff. Hardly any Cartier-Bressons or Leiters or Westons, certainly.

I also hope that I can break out of this melancholic funk I’ve been in for the past months. It’s sapping my energy. It’s all I can do to get to campus each day. Work was the only normal thing in my life after my son died; maybe it’s my anchor that stops me from slipping under. No matter how frustrating and stuck it might make me feel.

I hope that the new year will also see the end of some useless and possibly slightly deranged behaviours. I don’t mean to be purposely vague, but if I told you, you’d have to die. I seriously couldn’t handle the certain humiliation.

I am also hoping that 2020 will be good in the same ways that 2019 was good but also better as in deeper, more meaningful human relations and I hope that I have even less tolerance for bullshit but more patience with the genuines.

I want to thank each of you who have read my posts. Actually read them and not just liked them. Those that have left comments. Those are the connections I need. The same goes for my photography. Likes are nice, but comments are a sure way into my heart.

I want to wish you all the best in the new year. I hope it’s filled with laughter, love, good health, prosperity, and not necessarily monetary prosperity. I hope good paths are continued and not as good paths are rerouted. I hope everyone tries something new, no matter how intimidating. I wish everyone unlimited creativity. I hope everyone receives – and gives – many, many hugs.

I wish Smudge the Cat much continued success.

I hope the world rights itself and we purge the fascists and nazis and murderers from our politics and our neighbourhoods. Before it’s too late. BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

Shalom.